July: A Little Shift
This one feels a little different.
I used to document my days like a journal entry — a play-by-play to be more accurate. But lately, I’ve been rethinking what “catching up” really means. Like, when you finally sit down with a friend you haven’t seen in a while, you don’t just list what happened. You reflect. You laugh. You say, “Whew, let me tell you…”
So that’s what this is. A new kind of update.
A conversation — the kind I’ve always wanted this to be.
A cup-filler.
And hopefully, one that makes you want to say:
“Okay girl, now let me tell you what’s been going on with me too…”
Because that’s a conversation.
I’m not here to talk at you — I want to talk with you. That’s the part we often forget. A real conversation is a shared space, an exchange. It’s not just about me. And that’s the light I carry.
It’s been a minute, huh?
I’ve been learning. Crying. Praying. Growing. And gently shifting. Not just in how I want these articles to feel, but in my actual life. In my personal routines. In my work. In how I show up for God. for my family.
This isn’t a rundown of every moment.
Like I said,
It’s more like a sip of something warm on a slow Saturday outing.
Maybe tea, maybe coffee… whichever girl you are.
So girl, let me tell you…
Health. It’s Been on My Mind.
Not just weight. Not just the gym.
But health in the way I live.
How I treat my body.
What I say yes to.
What I keep avoiding.
Health in how I love others.
How I show up for myself.
It started with a TikTok video.
A girl with a feeding tube, sharing her story and it…
Wrecked me.
Some of what she has, I was diagnosed with back in 2018. And while hers may be a more extreme form, I remember thinking: That could have been me.
In fact, it almost was. A feeding tube was something that was mentioned to me during that time, and it scared me. I dropped to my knees and prayed to God nearly early day after that.
And the truth is, If I keep ignoring what my body needs and doesn’t need…
it still could be.
That video triggered something deep. I found myself crying… for her and for myself.
For the people who have to endure things they never asked for. For the ones learning — sometimes the hard way — that this life was never meant to be lived recklessly. That it’s not just about doing what we want whenever we want. It’s about being entrusted with something sacred and choosing to treat it like it matters.
God’s grace covered me. His mercy met me every time I fell. And yet…
I was using it as a pass, not a path.
Eating things I know didn’t nourish me.
Telling myself, it’s just a little.
Telling myself, it’s okay because you’re not eating a whole tomato, it’s just sauce in Spaghetti & meatballs… you can dab it with a napkin and that’ll be fine.
But No.
We can’t do just a little.
It doesn’t work that way.
If I ate just a little slice of orange, my gut and esophagus wouldn’t be just a little in pain.
There’s no one foot in, one foot out — even when it comes to our faith.
We can’t make life nor things in life fit the narrative we want to live in if it’s not the path the Lord has authored.
Telling myself “it’s just a little” is simply me lying — trying to stay in a version of reality shaped by my own understanding.
But girl, you and I both know — a little is still disobedience in the eyes of the Lord.
Look… all sin is still sin.
there’s no greater sin. it’s just sin.
And eating “just a little” can be just like eating the whole thing — especially with gut issues, Gerd, and such.
When you know better, you hold yourself accountable.
And take the necessary steps back towards the path you know that is right.
When God Shifts the Standard
In the middle of those tears, I prayed
I’m reminded that fear isn’t from Him.
But biblical wisdom? That was Him.
The message was clear: If I want to walk into the life He’s authored… that calls me — something’s got to change.
I can’t keep saying “I want to be healthy” while refusing to choose health.
I can’t keep complaining about the weight — emotionally or physically — if I’m not willing to lay it down.
To let it go.
Yes, girl. Even the ketchup.
Would you believe I used to eat ketchup packets as a kid? 😩 Don’t judge me.
I don’t now — barbecue sauce is more my thing these days. But even that’s gotta chill.
And you know I love strawberries.
That too!
Strawberry cake. A strawberry shake. A strawberry shortcake. Strawberry puree. Strawberry jam. Strawberry lemonade with extra extra extra puree. A strawberry bouquet. Strawberries and whipped cream on a waffle with powdered sugar. A strawberry donut. Strawberries, Strawberries, Strawberries. Everywhere. Every time with a Strawberry juice in hand while chewing a strawberry piece of candy.
Granted, I can technically have it in moderation…
But the truth is, my current version of moderation still leads to excessive burping and stomach and esophagus pain — minor but pain plus bloating. So, I just can’t be trusted.
So until I can, I’ve got to be the one in the room that raises her hand and say I have a problem and gently push the basket full of strawberries away.
Because I’m not just eating for taste anymore.
I’m eating to live well.
To honor the healing I prayed for.
To honor the body that is a vessel.
Not Just in the Kitchen
Because the shift doesn’t stop with food.
I’ve been going to the gym — I’m a HOTWORX girly now - and it’s been so good for my body and my mind. I’ve been treating it like I’m collecting points in a game. I’m also changing my social media habits, getting back into writing, dusting off my activity books and story ideas.
I’m back in the Word. Because I was slipping since the last time we talked. If I’ being honest, I’d read it here and there, tell myself I was going to read today… and then not pick it up. But I’m always in prayer.
I’ve also been tidying/organizing my space as usual because cluttered space equals a cluttered mind.
And I’m moving with intention these days. At least trying.
Oh! And did I tell you?
I got into grad school.
This girl is going to be a counselor in 3/4 years.
Can you believe that?!
So Yeah… Life’s Been Shifting.
It’s not perfect. But it’s present.
And more than anything, I’m grateful.
Even in the juggling. Even when I feel stretched.
I still believe — God’s plan is better than anything I could author.
And all I have to do… is stay the course.
And that’s what’s been going on, girl.
Just a reality shift.
Just life lifing lately.
Now, how have you been.
What’s been on your mind lately?
Where have you been shifting — even if it’s quietly?
Drop a comment. Or send an email. Or dm me - @by.lpwills
I’m here.
I’m listening.